The Wethos Collective -- Blog

Remote Team Horoscope for the Purpose-driven World.

Posted by Morgan Perrine on Jun 19, 2019 4:25:00 PM
Morgan Perrine
Are you considering a new remote work policy at your organization? Not sure how to go about it or understand how you'll collaborate with your team in different timezones? Have no fear. Your horoscope is here for you do-gooders of the world who are ready to take your show remote.

Horoscope1

Aries

Ah, Aries. You looked at one of the massive problems facing our planet and decided “You know what? How hard can it possibly be to give people nets? You get a net, you get a person, bingo bango - malaria is solved!” You even got yourself a grant. Except, now you need more people and your cousin Derek can’t learn how to do everything. It’s ok. Take a breath, and remember that it’s ok to collaborate remotely. Trust that there are people who are (almost) as passionate as you, who have spent years learning their trade. Also, it’s probably time to concede that not everyone who works for you must run the Gauntlet of a thousand trials. Also-also, it’s probably illegal.


Taurus

You want to make a difference! Great! You want to do everything yourself like a planet-saving one-person-band because you don’t need help or sleep and everyone is going to do it wrong anyway and all you need to do is forge ahead like this sentence without punctuation. Feel that? That feeling in your eyes when too much is coming in and they can’t process what just happened? That’s “needing help.” Also, that weight on your shoulders is from all the hats you’re trying to wear, not a comically large bass drum. Don’t worry, you can still do things the way you want to do them. You might just need to hunt around until you find someone in Ohio, who’s on the same path you are.


Gemini

Actually, you got this. You’re easy going and adaptable. Working with people online is going to be a breeze for you. Just remember to keep that impulsive streak in check. You can’t just “swing by someone’s desk” and ask them to do something that just occurred to you when it’s 6:00am in their timezone, especially since their desk is on the other side of the country.


Cancer

Oh boy. Cancer, Cancer, Cancer. Working with remote teams is going to be a mixed bag for you. On one hand, you don’t have to leave that blanket fort you call your couch. On the other hand… people come and go. I know you want to hold on to them forever, but you’re just going to have to remind yourself that when they leave it’s because the work is done, not because they hate you and never want to see you again. You are worth loving and collaborating with. People just tend to love being able to pay rent as well. Besides, when you are on a great team, you’re creating something special together that’s going to change the world. You’ll always have that.  


Leo

OK, this might be a step. I know you’re used to walking into the room and charming everybody you meet. It’s your superpower. But charming the pants off people on the internet is a little unfamiliar. Smiles don’t translate across keyboards (yet). Don’t worry though, you still got it. It’s just going to take a little more time and… don’t freak out when I say this... consensus building. I know, I know. Your patience isn’t in high supply to begin with, and having to wait for someone in California to wake up to have a meeting might make you want to break something nearby. But if you practice patience, you’ll be greatly rewarded.


Virgo

Remote collaboration was basically meant for you. Why you ask? Because you’re calm and collected, yet constantly planning and nurturing the things you love so they grow. You’ll have no problem building and maintaining a team no matter where they are. But remember, just because someone doesn’t write you back on Slack right away doesn’t mean they’re coming down with the flu and they probably don’t need a care package right away.


Libra

Your love of justice and harmony is going to adore your newfound ability to find the right people for your organization. You’ll be stimulated by all the new ideas they bring to the table and re-energized by the balance of speed and expertise. You’ll also be totally knocked off the rails by people’s endless ability to assume everyone knew what was going on, and now suddenly everything’s on fire. You’ll just have to take extra pains to make sure everyone is on the same page before you all go off to save the world. And, maybe invest in a metaphorical fire extinguisher.


Scorpio

Your passion is one of your main drivers, and also one of the reasons you’ve almost thrown your computer on the floor twice in the last four hours. Welcome to remote collaboration! Sometimes passion gets a little lost in translation, and then you look in a collaborative document and your heart drops through the floor. Just remember that this would happen even if you weren’t remotely collaborating as well. Unlike being in person though, your team won’t notice when you have to take a lap in your workspace while screaming at the walls. The people in your co-working space though… that’s another story. Who cares though? They’re trying to invent M&M’s with “more edges.” You’re working on things that matter.


Sagittarius

You know that feeling, Sag, when you walk into someplace with a large selection, and then you almost have a breakdown because you just want to try everything and there isn’t enough time to do it all? This will be your biggest hurdle in remote collaboration. There are people all around the world who would love to help you. Need a fine artist who specializes in cats? There are three in California alone. So this is going to be a little bit of a test of your willpower. It might feel a little overwhelming, and that’s ok. Unlike the coffee aisle in Costco, no one is going to look at you oddly if you need to sit down on the floor and think for a moment.


Capricorn

This is going to come as no surprise to you, but you’re going to be fine. You’re ambitious, organized, clear-minded and relentless. Working with teams in five time zones is going to be fine. You’re going to be up anyway. I mean, you’re going to have to deal with the unbridled jealousy of the rest of us as you smoothly glide through our periodic meltdowns, but that’s the price you have to pay for being excellent. That and you might have trouble getting people to show you how to access the server. They’re just jealous.


Aquarius

Nothing frustrates an Aquarius more than being constrained. I mean, you’re probably already yelling “DON’T PUT ME IN THAT BOX!” at the screen. Sorry. But, gotcha. Good news is, the new remote collaboration economy is exactly your cup of tea. Or coffee. Or whatever it is you’re drinking these days. Never before have you been less constrained in where you can find talent, pull resources, and discover insights. Want to have a remote conference where you hear the voices of people in every state? You can do that. Want to bounce an idea off a woodcarver in South Africa, you can do that too. Admittedly the last one might be a little more difficult, but if anyone could figure it out, it’s you.


Pisces

Ah, you dreamy visionary—a mystery even to yourself. On one hand, the world of remote collaboration will open you up to new creative possibilities for your organization. On the other, you’ll have to make it a priority to set up firm boundaries and clear goals for your collaborators. I know, I know. Those words make you want to rip the computer’s plug out of the wall. But the benefits you’ll glean from this world of creativity will far outpace the discomfort of imposing more structure. Or, you could always hire a Capricorn to manage your projects. In fact, you should probably just do that. Especially since most computers are laptops these days and pulling the plug will just put them in battery mode.

Topics: Nonprofit Leaders, Remote Work, Horoscopes